There's a Noctis in My Pocket
by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa
Summary: Noctis has a very, very nasty run-in with an Imp in the Balouve Mines... and wakes to find either everything has gotten so much bigger... or is it that he's a whole lot smaller? FFXV Kink Meme fill for Noctis getting hit with a Mini Spell. Oh, sweet Etro, help him. (Ignoct)
1. When the Moon Hits Your Eye

**There's a Noctis in my Pocket**

 **By:** Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-

 **Author Notes:** This is a fill for the FFXV Kink Meme. Someone wanted to see Noctis hit with a Mini Spell... and how could I say no to that? I am like high on FFXV crack because we all need so much fucking crack.

Kink Meme Prompt: So I was really glad to see the Toad status in the game, despite how "real" the game is. I thought Toad would have been left out for sure. But lo and behold, it made it in! And I've seen many a lovely "Frog Prince" fic because of it. But what about Mini? Imagine how that would have turned out. So I'm thinking Noct gets hit with a mini spell and freaks the fuck out. Why are the monsters gigantic all of a sudden!? Why are my friends gigantic all of a sudden!? Also bros freaking out because where the hell did Noct go? Obviously they find him, and Ignis, being the mother hen he is, looks after our tiny prince. I mostly want to see fluffy cuteness, but it can get smutty if authorannon wants to.

+++For Noct having to ride around in Ignis' pocket and complaining the entire time.  
+++++For Prompto nearly stepping on him and almost crying during his apology.  
+++++++++For Noct figuring out that if he's careful, he can climb onto Ignis' head, and the spot just behind his quiff is the perfect place to take a nap.  
+++++++++++++For Noct turning back to normal while sitting somewhere on Ignis (lap? Shoulder? Head?)

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 **Chapter One: When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie**

"Noctis! Noctis!"

Noctis didn't understand why his head hurt so much; it was like a never-ending thrum of pain that made his eyes water and his throat swell. It was like someone had taken the back of Gladio's sword and thwapped him a few times, then one more for good measure. It was just the Balouve mines; it should have taken a couple hours at most and it was just supposed to be a quick hunt.

There was no reason for him to feel the way he did.

Noctis groaned and opened his eyes, the world coming into focus, though it was still a bit blurry around the edges. It only took a few blinks for the spots to fade from his sight, and Noctis moved gently away from the hard rock next to him.

Wait.

"Ahhhh!"

It wasn't a rock, it was a tooth. A big, big, big tooth. What had happened to the imp? Why was it so big? It wasn't that big when he had fallen on it—had something happened? Had the thing gotten hit with some kind of spell?

Wait.

With dawning realization and equally dawning horror, Noctis looked up to see the red sole of Prompto's boot.

"No! Prompto!" Noctis screamed as he thrust out his arm to warp away from his friend's descending boot. Unfortunately it wasn't far enough, instead causing Noctis to have to warp again to avoid Prompto's other foot as it swung forward.

"Where'd he go? Noctis! Noctis!" Prompto yelled, and it was so loud that Noctis had to drop his Ultima Blade to cover his ears. The ground below him seemed to quake and Noctis shot out his hands to pull out his set of daggers, warping again and again until he fell to his knees in front of another set of boots.

"Ignis! Fuck, Ignis!" Noctis screamed, but looking up at the towering, hulking mass of the mountain above him, Noctis realized too late that it was not his advisor.

Noctis sent a prayer to Etro as he slammed his eyes closed and rolled, hoping that he managed to miss the crunching heel of Gladio's boot. Oh, fuck. What would his ancestors think of this—how embarrassing would it be to show up to wherever souls went when they died to have to listen to them mock him for all eternity about his Shield squishing him like a bug under his Etroboutin boots.

There was a commotion above him and then...

BAM—

The entire planet seemed to be crashing around Noctis's head and though he knew the magic was drained from his body, he still tried to warp away. He could see Gladio coming down, closer and closer as he fell—

"NO!"

And then there was something throwing him up into the air and the world shook and went dark.

Yeah. His ancestors were going to mock him for the rest of eternity.

Noctis shook like a ragdoll and waited for the cold hand of death the claim him. Yet the ground and ceiling above him was warm and dark, dry and…

Wait. Was that leather?

Noctis opened his eyes as he grabbed at the ground, noticing that it seemed to feel so familiar. It was leather, wasn't it?

Just what was happening?

There was a peak of light from above, like little cracks in the ceiling shattering the illusion of death. He tried to stand, but the ground still shook and whenever he moved it seemed that whatever was around him moved, too.

"Your highness… Noctis?" There was a whisper so faint that Noctis laid his head against the ground to try and hear it.

"Iggy?"

The sky opened and Noctis screamed, because above him was a big, perfectly green eye.

At a later date, Prompto would manage to get Noctis to admit that Ignis almost got an Armiger to the eye. The only thing that stopped him was he was pretty sure that he had a bit of a heart attack. It took six shots of the Wiz's best whiskey, but the truth always comes out.

He'd take the fact that he damn near pissed himself to the grave, though.

Or... Maybe he kinda did. Just a bit.

Even best friends had their limits.

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	2. Is That a Sword or

**Chapter Two: Is That a Sword or Are You Happy to See Me?**

Ignis took in another shuddering breath, holding his hands cupped like a priceless jewel laid between his fingers. If he so much as jostled his hand the wrong way, if he sneezed, if he so much as breathed the wrong way… something terrible could happen.

This was the worst moment of his life.

It wasn't as though Ignis's life had been without hardships; losing his parents at a young age, becoming the chamberlain and advisor to a lazy prince, falling in love with said lazy prince, watching that lazy prince become a man, only to be sworn to another…. All of that had hurt. Some of it, particularly the loss of his parents, had left scars that had never fully healed. The most recent of events had yet to even stop gushing red across his fingertips and yet…

"Noctis?" Ignis whispered against his close hands, hoping that his voice was not too loud. If Noctis was so small… if he really held the prince between his fingers…

Tap. Tap tap.

Ignis felt something gently pinching at his palm and Ignis felt his heart beat straight into his throat.

Oh, to the Six…

Ignis looked over his hands to Gladio and Prompto who both stood, shell-shocked and silent.

"Noctis?" he whispered one more time, a prayer to the heavens as he slowly opened his fingers. It took all the strength in him to not let his legs fold out from under him. Whatever the Imp had done, whatever magic or poison or spell it had used…

Noctis was only the size of his pinky finger, holding out one of his swords that he had clearly stabbed through the leather to hold on. Ignis didn't even mind the pinch when he took in too deep of a breath and Noctis's entire body shuddered forward like he were about to be sucked right up into Ignis's mouth.

Ignis was quick to force his mouth closed and point his nose down toward his chest, raising his hands closer to eye level.

Everything was small. His clothing, the filigree on the sword stuck like a pin to the leather of his glove, the spikes at the top of his head… even the little middle finger Noctis was waving at him as he screamed something Ignis could not hear. It was both the most endearing and terrifying thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

"Fuck."

Ignis looked up to Gladio, his face holding in as much terror as he possibly could. The last thing that Noctis needed was to see panic on Ignis's face; it would only worry him. Due to his current status as being the same size as a very small, very easily crushed insect, it was best for Noctis to not attempt to run off. It was best that Noctis didn't move...

"Oh my god, I almost squished him!" Prompto screamed as he grabbed at his face. He rushed toward Ignis only to be grabbed by the collar.

Ignis's hand was steadier than he had ever imagined possible as Gladio wrestled a sobbing Prompto to the ground.

"Is he okay? Did I kill him?"

"Iggy, is he okay?"

Ignis cupped his open hand at the bottom, unsure of what to do. He could see Noctis's terrified face and was very much thankful for his prescription glasses.

"He seems… well." Ignis could almost hear Noctis saying something, but it was too quiet. If it had been any other time, Ignis would have joked that not hearing Noct talk while angry would have been a blessing. Now it made his entire chest seize up. "If we do not count the fact that he is the size of… of…"

"He's a shr—imp!" Prompto sobbed, his voice hiccuping mid-way through the word.

Small Noctis let go of the sword and clapped his hands over his ears, his entire small face scrunched up in pain.

"Quiet!" Ignis harshly whispered. "His ears… by the Gods, we must sound like Behemoths to him."

This only made Prompto cry louder.

Ignis gently reached out one finger to Noctis's small head, gently petting the hairs back. He could see the scrunching of his tiny eyes smoothen out and slowly, ever so slowly, he opened his eyes yet again.

"There, there," Ignis whispered, hoping that his voice would not be too overwhelming to the tiny prince. "We'll… we'll figure this out. Gladio."

Gladio was busy pulling Prompto a distance away to calm down. The Shield's head darted up. "Yeah?" It was clear that Gladio was in as much of a fret as Prompto (and himself if he were honest to himself) but at least he was able to hide it behind the mask his father had long ago taught him.

"We need to get to a haven. We… there's no way to figure out what has occurred in here. I need you and Prompto to guide me out. One to the rear, the other to the front. I shan't be fighting."

"Obviously."

Ignis would have raised his hand to push up his glasses, but he had precious cargo… such precious cargo.

"Noctis, please take care to hold on. I will do my best to walk as slowly as possible."

He waited for small Noctis's nod before slowly bringing his hand down to his chest, holding the hand cupped against his heart. Ignis could only hope that the sound of his heartbeat would calm Noctis and that he would feel a little more comfortable…

If not…

How long would it take until Noctis was back in his normal body?

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	3. Oh Oh Oh It's Magic You Know

**Chapter 3: Oh, Oh, Oh, It's Magic, You Know?**

Noctis spent most of the time between the Belouve Mines and the nearby haven clinging desperately to the inside of Ignis's shirt. It was warm and soft inside, smelling like fresh soap and the tint of the cologne Ignis still used despite the fact that they were weeks into the never-ending camping trip from hell.

Yet the only thing that kept Noctis from panicking was the heartbeat he could hear like a gentle song. He wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline finally dying down (nearly getting stepped on had definitely taken its toll on him) or if it had something more to do with his tiny size, but Noctis was absolutely exhausted. And surrounded by warmth and a comforting presence of his advisor, as well as knowing that Ignis was not going to allow anything bad happen to him, Noctis was able to conk out for about an hour.

He only woke when he felt something gently pulling him out of the warmth.

The light was bright and Noctis had to cover his face with his hands. He also immediately covered his ears when someone screamed something—

Noctis loved Prompto, he really did, but it would have been better if his best friend had gotten hit with a silence spell at that moment. At least then his head wouldn't have wanted to explode.

Thankfully the area silenced and Noctis was thankful to see that Ignis was looking down at him. His advisor spread his fingers and Noctis scrambled up to notice the blue light around them and the camping gear they had left up before setting off to the mines. There was a half-drunk Ebony open on the table, as well as a plate from breakfast that Noctis had forgotten to clear off.

"Thank god. Not dead. Not dead," Noctis told Ignis as he climbed off the table, but realized at the blank stare that the other man couldn't hear him.

He could see his three friends sitting around the table, staring at him, and Noctis crossed his arms in front of himself at the scrutiny. He could tell that Prompto was trying his best not to say anything; his mouth was twitching though from laughter or crying Noct couldn't be sure.

Gladio looked outright horrified. More than once he leaned up and then back down, as though if he got closer he would be able to convey his thoughts telepathically. Nothing worked though, and Noctis finally plopped down on a bottle cap, using it as a chair.

"Well. This sucks."

Noctis crossed his arms and tried his best not to frown, but what else was he able to do? Everything had gone to shit so quickly… one minute he was just himself, and now he was the size of a marshmallow…

Noctis looked back up at his chamberlain, who was careful not to breathe too hard in his direction, lest he nearly fly away again. Just how was he supposed to talk to his friends if they were so big and he was so tiny?

Wait.

Noctis jumped up, nearly knocking the plastic cap backward in the struggle. He grabbed at his pants pocket, fumbling for his cell phone.

It felt the same as it had before, even though he logically knew it was much, much smaller. He doubted that the others would have even been able to see it, but… it was worth a shot.

Noctis shook his hand toward Ignis, but the other man didn't seem to see him from the distance.

Sending a prayer to the astrals, Noctis clicked the home button, watching with amazement as the phone immediately responded. It was just like normal.

Making sure not to drop his phone, Noctis hit the green call button and hit the speed dial, raising the phone to his ear. He leaned against the cap and waited. Maybe, just maybe...

The entire planet seemed to tremble at the screeching ring. Noctis smashed the phone against his ear, covering the other with his other palm. This time the cap didn't withstand his hit and Noctis found himself flipped on his back, the cap on its side as it precariously wiggled and then-

 _Slam_.

Noctis was getting really sick of sudden darkness. However he was lucky since it seemed that the gods had taken pity on him, and ending up under the cap was one of the least terrible things that could have happened. It also meant that when Ignis answered the phone Noctis could actually hear him… rather than be yelled at by the man.

"Iggy?"

There was a panicked motion as someone tried pulling the cap up, but Noctis let out a quick yelp. "Leave it! Leave it!"

The cap gently rested back down and Noctis stared up at the crack of light coming from the ground.

 _"Noctis? Are you there?"_

"Yeah, I'm here."

 _"Under the bottle cap?"_

"Under the bottle cap. Please don't squish me."

Ignis's voice was breathy, panicked, barely holding himself together. Noctis knew that sound, had grown accustomed to telling exactly what was wrong with his Advisor just through the way he spoke.

To be fair, it didn't take a genius to deduce that, but… well. Noct was doing his best.

 _"I assure you I won't. Though I worry you will suffocate under there, Noct. Would it be alright if I lifted it?"_

"If you promise to speak low… and you don't laugh."

 _"I promise no one will laugh."_

"And tell Prompto if he starts crying again I'll crawl into his sleeping bag and surgically cut off his balls."

Silence, and then- _"Surely you don't intend for me to repeat that?"_

"Iggy."

 _"... very well."_

The line went silent but the sound of thunderous voices echoing above him at least allowed Noctis to know that Iggy was saying what he needed.

After a moment it quieted again and slowly the cap lifted up and Noctis slowly stood, though he was careful to not remove his hand from his ear.

"Now everyone take a step back."

They did as he asked, thankfully. It was so strange seeing his friends as giants. Even looking at them made his stomach flip. Ignis was the closest, with Goadiovand Prompto far closer to the tent.

 _"Noct, are you injured?"_ Ignis whispered into the phone, though the reverb made the feedback a bit annoying.

"If you don't count me being the size of a grape as injury."

 _"I would have compared you to the size of a kiwi."_

"Glad to hear you're enjoying this, Specs."

Noctis stared out to Ignis whose entire face morphed, and guilt nibbled at his stomach. "Shit, sorry, Ignis. I'm… lemme check. Can you hold on a second?"

It was difficult to look himself over while holding his phone, so Noctis pushed it into his pocket and began looking himself over. There was a small scrape on his cheek and a crescent-moon mark on the fleshy part of his right arm, but otherwise he seemed to be okay.

"Think I got bitten by one of those imps." Noctis grabbed the phone and shifted it to his other ear. "But otherwise, just… small."

 _"I'll moogleMD imp bites, but I believe that you may have been infected with Mini."_

"You don't say."

Ignis's brow quirked. _"The good news is that from my knowledge it is completely reversible."_

Noctis waited. "Okay. So, Iggy. Come over here and kiss me."

Ignis nearly dropped the phone.

 _"Pardon?"_

"I need a Maiden's Kiss. You're a maiden, you got lips. Kiss me and I'll pop back to normal and we'll pretend like this ever happened."

Red dusted Ignis's cheeks. _"Noctis, I hardly think kissing you would be appropriate."_

Noctis shook his head. "Gotta be you, Specs. I know we've been pretending like it isn't happening, but we both know that caravans don't rock like that for no reason."

Noctis pointedly turned his body to his two friends, flipping them off. He doubted they could see him, but it sure did make him feel better.

But when Ignis did not come forward, Noctis realized that…

"Oh."

 _"It wouldn't have worked either way. Maiden's Kisses are for frog, not mini."_

"My bad. Forget it."

Ignis's face fell further and Noctis squished down another question… who the hell was Ignis dating? And how had he never realized?

"Then what's the cure?"

Ignis scrunched his nose. _"Other than time? I haven't the faintest."_

This shitty day couldn't have possibly have gotten shittier.

"Well… guess we better start researching."

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